let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
