I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
