I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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