she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
