This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize