I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize