My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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