Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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