Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
