Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
