In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
