Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I got inside last night via doggy door
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
