1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
