I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
