He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
