The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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