Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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