super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize