Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
