It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
