i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
