i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
