We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
