Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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