He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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