I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
