OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
