dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
