Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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