When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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