I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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