How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize