Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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