I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
