I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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