You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if only i could text you this smell
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
