This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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