I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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