I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize