I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
