At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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