Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
