then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
