Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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