the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
