I'm jealous of your bromance
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
