so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The feeling are messing with the penis
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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