coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
