She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
