Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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