People with herpes should wear stickers.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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