I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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