So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
As shirtless as possible
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
