I wanna bring you to show and tell
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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