I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
