Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I checked into jail on foursquare
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize