I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize