Your mouth is God's brothel.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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