I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize