i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
