Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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