i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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