What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
