I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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