What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You pole danced in your parka.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
