Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
