I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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