im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
