And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
