dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
